Had a exciting day earlier this year… well busy at least.
The snow came down famously 0n the Sunday night to nearly a foot in depth so making my way to the train station and discovering that all transport (even the tube) was down was a bit of an adventure 
Apparently the deepest snowfall since the Great Snow Day of ‘86… Actually I remember that day, RedLeeroy, Ovak and I dug tunnels ‘nam style through the depths of someone’s garden. Exciting times and good training for our later careers. Leeroy worked in the diamond mines on Jupiter. vVak became a moleman for a short period and I worked in giving free colonics to hobo’s in Nevada.
All very pretty though (the snow, not the colonics). I met up with a few mates in the park nearby and built a snowman of epic proportions which was silly but a lot of fun. Until some kid tried to knock it down as his parents egged him on. I still hope to this day the 9ft collusus fell and broke his weasley little head.
My other half had a slightly more frustrating day though. She crashed the car on the way into work. She’s fine and the car wasn’t too badly damaged. She was just stopped on a downward slope but the car kept going; handbrake still on and everything. She was a bit shook-up so drove the car into a nearby park and walked home where I met her and we got some lunch and then walked back out… by which stage the really steep drive into the park had iced over.
It was a surreal spectacle that greeted us upon our arrival; there was a truck gradually driving its way back up, the driver hopping out to dig out under its wheels every few metres; a cretin speeding up the slope only for his car to careen out of control and slide at speed back down the hill toward other cars spinning in circles as it do so and finally a gang of stoned drunken snowboarders speeding a landrover around and around with a guy on a child’s sled attached by a tow-cable to the back of the car who would let go at the last moment and fly toward the rear wheels of the truck… So driving the car back up the slope in the middle of all this was like something from a Grecian hell
We found the car partially buried under a snowdrift. Some local oiks had set up camp atop it, taking great delight in rubbing away at the windows to peer inside. We saw them off quick smart, fearing we might be shanked if we dallyed too long.
Positioning the car far to the left of the incline (to avoid the truck that had begun to slowly creep and inexorably creep back down the slope to the right) we waited for our window of opportunity…. waited until the moron’s car had spun past us and collided with the sledger below… and GO!!! Ice flew! We yelled encouragement! The engine roared! … and the car ground to a complete halt… grinding its wheels deeper and deeper into the snow.
Then the locals arrived. Like a scene from a low budget zombie tale they arrived clawing at the windows.
Six old dears knocking on the windscreen “No no dear, steer to the right.. no dear to the left, I said to the left”. The moronic fool, having abandoned his own efforts to escape, grabbed the underneath of the car itself “You need to drive sideways!! Sideways!! Here! I’ll move the car for you”… the car leaped and skidded with his mauling… A half dozen snowboarders appeared to our front, leaping out of their landrover “We’ll push you up with ours! Won’t bash your bumper too badly”…
Like a hell.
All fine now though… but the fear still lingers… the fear…
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