Weird gym dudes: Part 3

This is less weird than a bit sad. It makes me sad because I’m not heartless like all of you.

There’s a girl I’ve seen in my gym.  I say ‘girl’. I think she’s in her late ’30’s maybe? But she seems a bit childlike as she mopes around the rooms.

Running on the treadmill I spend most of my time people-watching (as you may have guessed from previous posts) and I’ve seen her in several areas. I’ve seen her stand, shivering and wiry, by the edge of the pool. Looking at any male that swims (or floats). She tries to make eye contact as soon as their heads pop up from under the water. When they stand to leave the pool, she follows them and tries to engage in conversation. I’ve seen her wait by cross-trainers and weight machines, slightly bored and nervous, looking eagerly at various males. I’ve seen her standing outside, in the cold, by the bike rack waiting to see who would come along and, if they’re male, engaging them in a strained conversation. Her face leaning toward them. Her eyes bright. Her tone higher and higher with each sentences. Theirs low and muddled as they make their escape.

Never have I seen her actually use the gym for its stated purpose.

It’s all a bit sad really.

Weird gym dudes: part 2

I have weird dudes in my gym.

Like the guy who wears many many items of clothing. He stands astride the cross-trainer. The cross-trainer is a machine designed to emulate cross country skiing. Lots of forward and backward motions.

http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/zone/priceCutsZone/partNumber/3354595/C$PRICECUT/1.htm

So, when someone gets on the machine dressed like this:

… much comedy ensues. It was like a car crash. I sat, frozen on the edge of the calf-stretchy-thing, unable to draw my eyes away from it. His sleeves, twice the length of his arms, flapped pitifully like some flightless bird. His hips, his legs bound dangerously close together by the belt around his knees, swung rapidly to overcompensate.

All the time huffing and panting, struggling to maintain some dignity.

That he ended this charade, while sweaty and dizzy, with an Ali-G style hand salute to the mechanized beast he had conquered is a testament to his self-image. Good work man.

Weird gym dudes: part 1

I’ve got some weird dudes in my gym.

There’s the weird guy with the leather beret in the pool. He walks, full of purpose and assumed might, from point to point across the pool. When he reaches his target, he pauses for a moment like the mighty Conan surveying all he owns, then, choosing a new spot, strides again across the path of many a swimmer.

He cares not for their puny inconvienience.